Trusting God During a Hard Pregnancy: My Testimony

Quick overview

This post is my testimony of my unexpected pregnancy, handling the transition, and how my faith turned my despair, confusion, and uncertainty into a life seeing how God moved with me every step of the way, and how He can move in your life too.

An Unexpected Pregnancy Surprise

I remember when my husband and I got home from an 11-hour road trip from Georgia, I was exhausted but figured since I did the last stretch of the drive in a stick shift, I should be very tired from multitasking and not crashing a car. I should have been relieved, finally taking a shower and sleeping in our own bed, but something was still off, and everything just smelled horrible.

I decided to eat potato salad for breakfast (please don’t judge me), and I happily made my way over to church. I felt chipper and my usual self until we got home and my body fell apart again. Everything from my tea to my dog just annoyed me, and in typical Black fashion, I drank a ginger ale to cure whatever was going on with me.

I ran and cradled my toilet bowl like I was hugging my mother after weeks of not seeing her, and pleaded with my husband to go to the store and get a pregnancy test. He met me with confusion, continually asking me, “Are you sure? Do I really need to buy this?”, until I confessed to him that my period was over a week and a half late.

I took the test, closed the bathroom door, and waited for the results as time began to slow down, with my heartbeat pulsing in my eardrums…and there, to our surprise:

“We’re pregnant”

Where is He?

Moving from Maryland to Virginia Beach, I have taken my walk in Christ seriously, to the point where my content has transformed and I was professing my love, my walk, and adoration for Him. I loved it, and even though I had days where I was so lost, I knew He was in the midst of it all, but this was a new battle I couldn’t comprehend.

I don’t have a 9-5, my content isn’t pulling in what I was expecting it to, and unexpected expenses while paying the rent were backbreaking. Every moment I questioned and pleaded, “Why me, God? You know we cannot afford to be pregnant! Look at me. Why are You doing this to me right now?”

My Fetal Growth Restriction (FGR) Testimony

As the months went on, my husband and I learned that our baby was developing slowly. She had fallen below the 10th percentile of where she should be, with her weight incongruent with her gestational age, she was marked as FGR — fetal growth restricted. I wept in the car to my husband in confusion, assuming I was doing everything wrong and it’s my fault our child isn’t developing correctly.

“God, I know you’re here, but seriously…where are you RIGHT now?”

The Beginning and the End

Despite having to go to the doctors every week to make sure she’s averaging X amount of beats per minute, ensuring blood flow from my placenta is steady, and using a Jeopardy clicker to count how many times she kicks, she prevailed.

He prevailed.

We were on track to carry out my pregnancy as normal and not have to be induced. The once-a-week visits ceased, and I could finally breathe knowing our baby was fine. My tears were now joyful, and for the first time in nearly 8 months, I started to sleep soundly.

Through natural birth, I delivered our 5 lb 13 oz healthy baby girl, realizing that despite the confusion and hardship, I was in awe of what God had created, and that He was there every step of the way.

Jeremiah 29:11 — “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

My Encouragement to You

Despite the bad doctor’s report, the tears, the confusion, and every other possible thing that can take away the joy of your pregnancy, I want to encourage you to keep your eye on Him. When you prepare to lay your head down for rest, recap and ask yourself these questions: Where did I see God today? What did I do today that He helped me through? And how can I thank Him for this day?

We’re not perfect, and He knows that! There are days when our flesh is screaming to go along with the bleakness you may be feeling, despite our spirit telling us to overcome and call on Him to shed light on it.

From the beginning to the end, God is with you every step of the way of your pregnancy, and with you as you step into this new role as a mother.

Take care, stay blessed, and I’ll catch you in the next blog post ✨

Marshé Harper